Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes » Store Of The D***ed

Me: “Hi, how can help you today?”

Customer: “Are you a lesbian!?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You’ve got real short hair. I heard that women with short hair are lesbians.”

Me: “So, was there anything I could help you with?”

Customer: “You can answer my question! Are you a lesbian or not?!”

Me: “Sir, I don’t feel it’s appropriate for me to answer that.”

Customer: “I don’t want some hell-bound homosexual near me! God will strike you down for disobeying his word!”

Me: “Okay, okay. If you really must know, no I am not a lesbian.”

Customer: “Then why do you have short hair??”

(By this time, my manager, who is male-to-female transgender, walks over.)

Manager: *in their manly voice* “Is there a problem here, sir?”

Customer: “Oh dear lord! You’re not a woman!”

Manager: “Only on paper, sir.

Customer: *runs out screaming* “This place is d***ed! D***ed I tell you!”

(via thenecromerchantsdebt-deactivat)

I hate everyone/thing


  • push the handles back up when you’re done getting yogurt. how the fuck is that hard?
  • tell me that you have a fucking coupon before I ring you up. I will get in trouble for stuff like that. it is not hard.
  • I am trying to do my homework. stop trying to talk to me.
  • please get out of the fucking store and get your yogurt elsewhere, the sight of you makes me physically ill.

(via you-horridbitch-deactivated2011)


On a slow day over the summer, a woman and her husband walk in. She is in a long floral print dress and he is in a button down shirt and slacks. They seem fairly normal and make small talk with my co-worker and I. After a bit the woman asks my co-worker, “Would you like a pamphlet on Jesus?”

kinda random

You work in retail! I work in retail! Here's a community blog for us when rude customers get in the way: :)

Oh customers…I will definitely be checking it out. Feel free to submit your stories about ANY aspect of retail here as well. 

One of those days

customer: wow, you look really tired! didn't get enough sleep last night?
me: I'm not tired at all this morning.
customer: oh well I guess its just one of those days,huh?
me: actually I thought I looked very nice today, but thank you for asking.
*fake smile*

Yes. Yes it is.


Customer: Hi, I don’t see any of the lab readers for Physics 6L.

Me: We are currently sold out. You can pay for it now and we’ll have it ready by tomorrow afternoon.

Customer: (Not pleased.) Really? OK…I guess I have to. But my lab’s this afternoon.

Me: …

Customer: But that’s my fault.

We need to sell a total of $XX.XX more by the end of the hour. Sell, sell, sell… Sell to the walls, sell to the manequins.
Manager at Express (via rantsaboutwork)

i yelled at a customer today at work.


obviously we are not allowed to do this, but this lady was a fucker. she ALWAYS comes in with her three children, kayla, chase, and addy (i think her full name is addison). i know their names because she’s always screaming their names across the store telling them to get their asses back to her. anyways, she went into the fitting room with kayla, and chase and addy decided it would be a good idea to crawl under each and every fitting room door. while there were other customers in those rooms.

i didn’t see all this shit go down, but i did get the wrath of the angry customers as they threw their khakis and (ugly) blazers on the counter in a heap, as if i’m the parent of these children (i later named the children hannibal lector 1 and hannibal lector 2).

back to parent of the year. so she’s in the fitting room yelling at kayla to “put the damn pants on! get up! KAYLA GET UP!” as i just stand on the other side of the door pretending to fold shit so i can be entertained. the mom comes out and tells kayla that her and hannibal lector 1 and 2 will be waiting at the registers. i smiled and said, “did everything work out?” and the fucker responds, “no. your fitting rooms are too small and the store is a mess.” 

“that didn’t answer my question” (oh shit)

“excuse me? it’s YOUR job to make sure the store is perfect and that there aren’t pieces of clothing on the floor. you get paid to do this”

(kind of smirking, because i’m good at comebacks) “well no, mam’, that’s not my job. if i wanted a job where i had to clean up after people, see, i’d work at restaurant as a bus boy. but i work at old navy. if you don’t like clothes on the floor, then don’t throw them on the floor if they don’t fit.”

AND I WALKED AWAY. i was shaking because i wasn’t sure what her kids were capable of, and if they would launch themselves on me, attacking me like bees (i was picturing this as i walked away) but still. i took the bitch down.

i found out her name too, because guess what? my coworker needed back-up and i had the pleasure of ringing up Katherine Glonick, Chase Glonick, Kayla Glonick, and Addy Glonick.

bet that car ride home was quite.

People Don't Listen

random office lady: Katy, are you hungry? We're going to Wendy's.
Me: No, I'm fine
Lady: You sure.
Me: Yep. I'm not hungry.
Lady: 'Cause I could get you something if you don't have money.
Me: Nope. I'm really okay.
Lady: Alright
15 minutes later... Lady: Here ya go, Katy. I didn't know what you'd like so I just got you a frosty.
Me: *facepalm* Thanks...