August 2011
1 post
11 tags
artfulandknowing:
Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes » Store Of The D***ed
Me: “Hi, how can help you today?”
Customer: “Are you a lesbian!?”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Customer: “You’ve got real short hair. I heard that women with short hair are lesbians.”
Me: “So, was there anything I could help you with?”
Customer: “You can answer my question! Are you a lesbian or not?!”
...
April 2011
1 post
I hate everyone/thing
you-horridbitch:
push the handles back up when you’re done getting yogurt. how the fuck is that hard?
tell me that you have a fucking coupon before I ring you up. I will get in trouble for stuff like that. it is not hard.
I am trying to do my homework. stop trying to talk to me.
please get out of the fucking store and get your yogurt elsewhere, the sight of you makes me physically ill.
February 2011
1 post
2 tags
WWJD
On a slow day over the summer, a woman and her husband walk in. She is in a long floral print dress and he is in a button down shirt and slacks. They seem fairly normal and make small talk with my co-worker and I. After a bit the woman asks my co-worker, “Would you like a pamphlet on Jesus?”
kinda random
January 2011
18 posts
justinetf asked: You work in retail! I work in retail! Here's a community blog for us when rude customers get in the way: http://dearrudecustomer.tumblr.com :)
2 tags
One of those days
customer: wow, you look really tired! didn't get enough sleep last night?
me: I'm not tired at all this morning.
customer: oh well I guess its just one of those days,huh?
me: actually I thought I looked very nice today, but thank you for asking.
*fake smile*
1 tag
Yes. Yes it is.
textbookgirl:
Customer: Hi, I don’t see any of the lab readers for Physics 6L.
Me: We are currently sold out. You can pay for it now and we’ll have it ready by tomorrow afternoon.
Customer: (Not pleased.) Really? OK…I guess I have to. But my lab’s this afternoon.
Me: …
Customer: But that’s my fault.
2 tags
“We need to sell a total of $XX.XX more by the end of the hour. Sell, sell, sell…...”
– Manager at Express (via rantsaboutwork)
2 tags
i yelled at a customer today at work.
helloimemily:
obviously we are not allowed to do this, but this lady was a fucker. she ALWAYS comes in with her three children, kayla, chase, and addy (i think her full name is addison). i know their names because she’s always screaming their names across the store telling them to get their asses back to her. anyways, she went into the fitting room with kayla, and chase and addy decided it would...
2 tags
Keeping an eye on this blog →
1 tag
People Don't Listen
random office lady: Katy, are you hungry? We're going to Wendy's.
Me: No, I'm fine
Lady: You sure.
Me: Yep. I'm not hungry.
Lady: 'Cause I could get you something if you don't have money.
Me: Nope. I'm really okay.
Lady: Alright
15 minutes later... Lady: Here ya go, Katy. I didn't know what you'd like so I just got you a frosty.
Me: *facepalm* Thanks...
1 tag
The Cabernet Claret of course!
Him: I'd like the ******* cab.
Me: Which cab sir?
Him: The claret.
Me: [Thinking he's continuing with the order and didn't hear me...] Which ******* cab?
Him: The ******* cab.
Me: ******* has multiple cabs sir.
Him: The cab claret.
o_O
2 tags
Diary of a waitress: 1.
diaryofawaitress:
Just an ordinary waitress, blogging about extraordinarily annoying customers.
Please, old bitch, stop waving at me. I am bringing your water, you do not need to ask me twice when I am clearly waiting to get off the phone from taking an order. While I am clearing your table of 10, do not start making everyone tell me their numerous quarter strength soy latte with half a sugar...
1 tag
Someone
Me: Hi, how can I help you?
Customer: Yeah, hi, can I speak to someone?
What I want to say: What am I, chopped liver?
What I actually say: Yes, can I help you?
1 tag
Customers... *facepalm*
Me: I'm sorry the frozen coke machine has put the coke into its defrost cycle, so we only have fanta raspberry
Customer: But I want frozen coke
Me: Well I cannot service frozen coke right know because its just liquid, its gone into its defrost cycle
Customer: Thats not good enough, I want frozen coke.
Me: Frozen coke is not available
Customer: Can I see your manager?
Manager: The frozen coke machine has gone into defrost cycle so its not frozen
Customer: But I want frozen coke.
me and Manger: *close window and just walk away*
1 tag
shortdays-longnights:
I’ve lost count of how many people I’ve told to “Have a Nice Day” when I didn’t mean it. Helping them find items I don’t give a shit about, learning meaningless, pointless numbers and codes to enter in coupons that won’t save them shit in the end.
And this is just day two.
I should’ve gotten a job at a daycare. Something I can do by instinct. Kids are easy. I can relate...
you-horridbitch-deactivated2011 asked: OH MY GOD. Why did you leave?? D: D:
2 tags
Dear Customers
dyanah:
When your bank has issued your credit card with a PIN, please have the decency to remember the goddamn thing. If you “cannot remember another number”, you are too old for a credit card.
I do hope my morning at work is frustration-free.
1 tag
I totally voided something on my last day. Fuck you Tim.
2 tags
Why I Love My Job.
inlovewiththeidea:
For a part-time job while being a full-time student, it works for me! I’m good at what I do, and enjoy being surrounded by movies and music all day, blah blah blah. My co-workers are the really entertaining part. Example: text message from one of my managers today.
Manager: I’m soooo loaded on Dayquil! I’m good!
-> She’s a 40-year-old, who frequently comes in drunk or...
2 tags
I quit
Just put in my notice at work. I don’t have anything else with a steady pay check lined up. This is so scary but time for a change and I need to get into something better. The blog will still be going as I still have so many stories to share.
Cheers
December 2010
21 posts
2 tags
2 tags
Nope, won't be in today
So I just got back from vacation in another country. While there I had some trouble with receiving voicemail. I just now got into my voicemail, which included one from my manager.
Some quick backstory: I put in for my vacation a month in advance. I’d been talking about it all year, even customers knew when and where I would be going. I left on a sunday and would be gone for almost two...
“so a customer told me she is a jehova’s witness, but only between december...”
– Josie
Tumblr lost my best story yet. It was awesome, not sure if I can recreate it. Very sad about that.
3 tags
Dear Westlake,
Just because you stumbled somehow into money and do not have to work, doesn’t mean that the rest of us are so lucky. I do not enjoy serving you. I did not choose this as my line of work. I have a fucking mortgage to pay so I have to work at this god forsaken hell hole and smile and say have a nice day, when really I mean rot in hell.
Next bitch that talks down to me is going to get...
2 tags
it took you 5 minutes to realize that...
xubrats:
customer: uh, where is my caramel macchiato? me: (looks down the line of drinks) sorry, your drink must not have printed out, i’ll make that for you now. what size is it? customer: grande. i ordered a grande caramel macchiato. me: ok, i’ll have that out in a few seconds. - - A FEW SECONDS LATER: - - me: here you go! grande caramel macchiato, have a great day! customer:...
2 tags
Ah Fathers
thehannahrose:
Customer: “You sold a very violent game to my 14 year old son!”
Me: “I apologize, which game did we sell him?”
(The customer hands me copy of the game.)
Me: “Sir, this games is rated “M” we won’t sell this game to anyone under the age of 17 without proper I.D. Are you sure he got it here?”
Customer: “Yeah!” *hands me receipt*
(The receipt had been printed at my register,...
1 tag
notalwaysright.com:
(I have a caller named Victor Krumm in the computer system. I’m a Harry Potter fan.)
Me: “Okay sir, so you’re Victor Krumm?”
Caller: “Yep, that’s me.”
Me: “Sorry this might sound funny, but did you know that there’s a book series called Harry Potter with a character with that name?”
(There’s a pause, as if he’s thinking, and suddenly he yells.)
Caller: “THE MUGGLES KNOW!”
(He hangs up. His wife calls a little while later to actually schedule.)
2 tags
The 19-Step Shuffle
mbpphotography:
Clock in
Sign on
“How are you today?”
“What can I do for you?”
“Paper?”
“Plastic?”
“Credit?”
“Debit?”
Run the order
Hand back cash
Bag items
“Have a good day”
Go to break
Go to lunch
Go to last break
Clean up
Sign off
Clock out
Go home
2 tags
blondiebrownie:
“Myself: “Manchester Petco. Where we offer training and grooming. This is Kim, how may I help you?” Random Customer: “Yeah, do you sell dogs and cats?” Myself: “No, we don’t. Sorry.” Random Customer: “Then why is your logo a dog and cat?” Myself: “Because we cater to those animals, along with grooming and training services and we also hold adoption services.” **Long awkward...
1 tag
39 cent kid
I complain a lot about the kids that come into the store so I thought I would post about a good kid.
We call him the 39 cent kid because he is always short just a few cents. The first time it happened it was 39 cents and he promised that if we let him go he would later return with his debt. We let him go and awaited the return.
A week later he comes back in and gets more froyo and upon check out...
5 tags
Short Lived
So this post comes a bit late, but our friend Crazy Ass Hippy quit.
This is how it all ended.
Remember how I said she talked a lot of shit in front of customers? Well, she finally went too far. One day CAH is working with one of the shift managers. This shift manager has been there since the beginning of the store and knows her shit about retail and customer service.
Enter a mother and her...
3 tags
Attention retail shoppers
dramasummer:
Complaining to the person ringing up your items isn’t going to do anything. As your cashier, I really don’t give a fuck. Stop demanding coupons from me after I repeatedly have told you that we aren’t offering any this week. I’m not saying that to be a bitch, I’m saying that because it’s true. If I had a coupon for you, I’d fucking give it to you. Stop assuming that you know more...
3 tags
That's a bad word.
One day, I was working with Music Snob. She was playing her music, which just happened to be Gorillaz, her favourite band ever ZOMG THEY ARE AMAZINGGGGG!!!!111!*one* So we’re listening to Gorillaz when a family of three comes in, a man, woman and four-year-old child. He’s scoping out the topping bar when in the song playing, the singer drops a really loud, obvious...
2 tags
The Rules of Retail
speaksl0wly:
1. There definitely is such a thing as a stupid question.
2. Do NOT call a store if you have no idea what you are looking for.
3. If you decide to take your bastard children shopping with you, then WATCH THEM! We do not get paid to watch your children.
4. Mind your own business. (Applies to LIFE, not just RETAIL).
5. No, I do not know what time store X opens / whether or not...
1 tag
3 tags
Retail is slowly sucking the life out of my soul.
guiltlessandfree:
1. I am not a magician if we do not have your size I can’t magically make it appear.
2. This is not your house. Pick your shit up.
3. I can guarentee you my day is going worse than yours and I fake a smile so please attempt to do the same.
4. Being a bitch isn’t going to make your transaction go any quicker. It also is not going to make me wanna give you a...
4 tags
If you pay for your $3 yogurt with a BLACK AMEX and don’t tip, you will go to hell.
3 tags
Man, when you work in retail, you realize just how...
loveandcupcakes:
So I was ringing in a sale and the lady hands me her Visa card. I ask,
“Can I see some photo I.D. please”
Woman: “But it has a chip”
Me: “I’d still like to see some I.D. please”
Woman: “But no body else knows my pin. No one else has ever asked me to show my I.D. for a card with a chip”
Me: “Well I’d still like to see your I.D. We’ve had frauds and stuff you know”
*Lady...
1 tag
you know, i'm pretty easygoing, for someone in...
sarahwand:
it’s hard to piss me off. i don’t care if you leave things in the fitting room, i don’t care if you put them on the hanger wrong — just show that you made some kind of effort to behave like a mature human being about it. but if you do any of the following:
leave things inside out and on the floor in the fitting room
put things on the hanger in ways that make me question whether or...
3 tags
Dear Customers,
Do not stick your bacteria ridden sticky fingers into the toppings. Do you want me to man handle your food with my fingers?
Sincerely,
S
November 2010
43 posts
2 tags
Alright, that's it.
sorrowneverfades:
What the FUCK gives you the right to treat employees like shit just because YOU are a dumb bitch and forgot to fucking buy gifts earlier? Christmas is the SAME day every year, it is December 25th, it’s not like it fucking changes. It’s not like you make it almost all the way through November and suddenly OH GOD~ IT’S ALMOST CHRISTMAS WHERE DID IT COME FROM WAS IT HIDING UNDER...
Ranty McRant Rant
I’m felling pro-anti-customer rant. Probably because its the holiday shopping season. Bring it on.
1 tag
When someone tells you not to fill up something, would you go and fill it up two seconds later? Crazy Ass Hippy would.
Me: Do not overfill the toppings or the kids will make a mess.
CAH: Ok, that makes sense.
Few seconds later: CAH is dumping brownies into an already full tin that is now a tower of brownies.
Me: What did I just tell you!?
CAH: Oh yea, I forgot.
2 tags
Attention Shoppers
In the coming days of holiday shopping please remember that your sales person is in fact a human with their own complicated emotions and lives. Do not fuck with them in any way.
Oh and Have a fucking good Christmas.
Despite Crazy Ass Hippy being a crazy hippy, she talks a lot of shit around customers.
5 tags
Really?
Dear all Co-workers (and by all I really mean just that one girl),
Please stop texting me the day before you work asking if I can cover your shift. I mean one time, maybe. But when you once expected me to work your shift and then mine (making my day a double) and then repeatedly text me once a week seeing if I will cover one of your two shifts, it is getting ridiculous.
After all of that and me...
1 tag
Today I watched a customer meticulously pick out only blue mini M&Ms for her topping.